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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26329351">Just for Tonight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okadiah/pseuds/Okadiah'>Okadiah</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars: Rebels</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bittersweet, F/M, Family, Heartwarming, Home</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:01:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,987</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26329351</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okadiah/pseuds/Okadiah</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kanan and the crew have gone out of their way for tonight, and he's not going to let Hera squirrel out of this one.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Kanera Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Just for Tonight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>And here we are at the end of Kanera Week 2020, and I'm ending it with my favorite one.  I hope you enjoy :]</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was a disturbance in the Force.</p>
<p>Or, well, no. That was an exaggeration. There wasn't something <em>legitimately </em>wrong in the Force. But there was something wrong with Hera, and the way that affected the rest of the crew made it <em>feel </em>like there was a disturbance in the Force.</p>
<p>And Kanan was determined to fix it.</p>
<p>It had taken him a while to get a good feel of what was bugging her, but after years together, Kanan thought he was pretty good at it most of the time. He'd always thought he'd been observant before his blinding, but after?</p>
<p>In some ways, now that he was better adjusted, it was like he was seeing everyone and everything for the first time. Or at least, versions of themselves that he'd never noticed before.</p>
<p>It was the same with everyone, like this extra dimension was inaccessible until he wasn’t able to <em>see </em>anymore, even though in retrospect he realized these dimensions had always been there the whole time. It, he realized, was the person’s voice and sounds, and once he'd come to terms with the new way his life was, he heard more than he'd ever heard in his life.</p>
<p>Ezra was easiest, but then again he was always easiest. The boy was so expressive, so emotional, Kanan had barely had to see him to know exactly what was going on with him – and that didn't even count their connection in the Force. But since his blinding, since the Bindu, since Maul and the holocrons, he could almost hear Ezra's state in the Force. Whether he was bothered or concerned, if his thoughts were leaning closer to shadows than to light. Now more than ever Kanan was in tune with the boy.</p>
<p>Zeb had been interesting to adjust to because he'd always thought of all of them, he <em>got </em>Zeb best. They were friends. Brothers of a sort. While there was Hera who was his better half and there were the kids he led and mentored, he and Zeb were peers and drinking buddies. They unwound together, bitched and complained shamelessly while the rest were away, did stupid things Hera would never understand.</p>
<p>He'd never realized how well Zeb hid his emotions. The Lasat had always seemed like an open book to him, but then he'd never noticed how quiet Zeb could get until he had no sight to distract him. While still and meditating and finding his way, Kanan had started to notice how his friend wasn't as brash as he'd always thought. He paused before every action, and while Zeb was loud and abrasive, Kanan was starting to think most of it was an act. Zeb often saw things no one else did and was often prepared for fallout before any of the rest of them were.</p>
<p>That and the changes in his voice when Kallus was around were telling, which was good because the Lasat and the ex-Imperial both deserved a bit of happiness.</p>
<p>Sabine, to his surprise, became easier to understand. The girl was always so closed off and distant when she wanted to be – which was often – but at some point it had become normal that she worked in the same quiet space he meditated in, and he'd learned a lot about her from the subtle interaction that he'd never noticed when he'd had his sight. The way she spoke was in the smallest ways, the ones he'd always thought she ignored or avoided entirely. Unlike the others, she was highly nuanced, and that came through in the sounds she made as she worked, not necessarily in the things she said.</p>
<p>When she was in a calm, composed state, the sound of her construction and tinkering was like gentle music in the background, peaceful and unobtrusive. When she was bothered, however, or deep in thought, her emotions came through in how hard she placed a tool down, how quickly she moved from piece to piece to piece. What sort of items she decided to work on. On some level he'd always <em>known </em>this, but he realized it so much better now. Was able to understand and interact with her so much easier.</p>
<p>Even Chopper had an unexpected side to him he only just realized, in the ticks and jitters and micro-whaps he gave whenever he worked with everyone. The bottom line was that the droid was a menace, but more than once he'd caught Chop doing surprisingly considerate things. Being quieter when he passed Zeb and Ezra's room when he knew they'd come back from a rough mission. Placing a tool closer to Sabine without her realizing it. Moving useful things closer to Kanan when he thought Kanan wasn't paying attention. Kanan couldn't be sure, but he wondered if the droid had always been this way too, and he'd just never <em>really </em>noticed.</p>
<p>And then there was Hera.</p>
<p>Conversely, for the first few months it felt like he was disconnected from her while the others oddly opened up. Maybe it wasn't as surprising in the end, given he was closest to her and he was trying to be strong for her and <em>naturally </em>she was trying to do the same. But many of the little things about their relationship that had always flowed so easily seemed to have evaporated overnight. He touched her and he didn't know how she felt. He sensed her and looked at her with the Force, and she was this unknowable entity. Her voice was stiff and tight, even when she tried her best to be as open and understanding as possible. It felt for a long time like he'd lost the woman he'd known because so much of their relationship had been physical and visual and shared. Now he couldn't see her and the way he perceived reality was inherently different because he <em>couldn't </em>see what she could.</p>
<p>But he didn't give up, and while he'd always loved her and really, this was nothing new, he learned to experience her now as an emotional entity more than he had before. Once he learned how to do it with the Force, it was like he saw her for the first time.</p>
<p>She was strong and so sensitive, and he’d known that, he really had. But it was different now that she was taking leadership in the Rebellion and the cool, collected persona she gave had become more of a front more than ever because of his blinding as she struggled to be the pillar of strength for him during that painful time. Hera had still spoken to him, still confided in him, but before he'd leveled out, he'd sensed she was holding back. Now that he was in touch with the world in this new way, he <em>felt </em>the changes, and heard them in the things she said. The things she didn't. Once he'd realized that, it made speaking with her and getting to the heart of her concerns and fears and delights easier than it had ever been.</p>
<p>He'd always been in tune with her, but that resonance had sharpened. And the sensitivity they now shared told him that she was starting to sing off-tune.</p>
<p>It had been happening more and more after they'd relocated to Yavin IV where the chances she'd be pulled into meetings or flight training, or dogfights with her squadron and the Empire had shot up exponentially while he and the rest of the crew were assigned to separate missions. Everyone understood the reason the rift was growing, and speaking with the others, he wasn't the only one who was forcing themselves to grudgingly accept this new change in their lives. The rest of them were often together, sure, but the void Hera created was stark, even for him. Since his blinding, more often than not he'd found her in his bed, and he'd <em>enjoyed </em>that.</p>
<p>But it was a miracle if she returned to the <em>Ghost </em>at the end of the day these days, and sometimes when he drifted into her cabin, the sheets hadn't been disturbed. He'd find her in a chair within the command, slumped over and catching a few minutes of sleep before she dragged herself up with a pot of caf.</p>
<p>He wasn't sure if she realized, but he kept close tabs on her with Kallus's help since the former ISB agent was often relegated to Yavin now that his cover was blown. She was working herself hard, endlessly motivated, endlessly hopeful, endlessly furious at the Empire for everything it had done.</p>
<p>But he felt the tension in her shoulders when he woke her up and heard the sigh she gave when she had to assign the rest of them another mission that she couldn't be a part of. Hera, for as long as Kanan had known her, had always put others ahead of her, <em>always</em>. It was just who she was, and if even an extra five minutes of work could be put to good use, then she would spend it without thinking twice.</p>
<p>It was something he loved about her, that selflessness. But he'd be a terrible partner if he let her sink into that with no fight to the contrary. Much as she seemed to be supernatural, he <em>knew </em>her, and at this rate she'd burn out. She needed a break, even if she'd never make time for it herself.</p>
<p>So Kanan made it for her.</p>
<p>Through the coordinated efforts of Kallus and Chopper, and the brilliance of Sabine, Ezra, and Zeb, they'd managed to find one evening Hera would be free, even if she'd be stubborn about it. They'd pooled together and through some careful planning had gotten everything they'd need. The others had been working for hours to prep and get the evening ready, which meant he was left with the harder job.</p>
<p>"Come on," he said as he took her by the shoulders and led her toward the <em>Ghost</em>. "One night isn't going to kill you. The rebellion isn't going to collapse without your eyes on it. Mon Mothma and Leia Organa will reach out if it does."</p>
<p>"I don't know, Kanan, I really can't," she argued, even as her feet kept moving with his gentle guidance. "There's a team out, and while Wedge sounded confident, you never really know—"</p>
<p>"They'll let you know," he said again, this time pushing her up the <em>Ghost's </em>ramp.</p>
<p>She sighed heavily. "Kanan—"</p>
<p>"Nope. Not this time," he said before closing the ramp of the <em>Ghost </em>behind them<em>. </em>Everyone who was supposed to be here <em>was </em>already here, and with the ramp up, everyone else would know it was a closed party. "We’ve all worked hard for this, and I'm not going to let you give those tooka-eyes that always work on me—"</p>
<p>"You can't even see them now. It doesn't even work anymore."</p>
<p>"—and you're going to <em>enjoy </em>this."</p>
<p>She sighed again, and this time he knew this one was closer to stubborn reluctance than fatigue. "I don't even know what this <em>is</em>, Kanan."</p>
<p>He smiled at her. "You can't smell anything?"</p>
<p>"Of course I can't smell anything, everything smells like ship oil and paint, and ..."</p>
<p>It was moments like these when he wished he could see her face, to really see the realization, but it was enough that he could feel it in the force. Before she radiated like a swollen nerve, but now the scent of warm, spiced things, breads and sweets and Stars knew what else had permeated the inside of the <em>Ghost</em>, wrapping around them like a siren call.</p>
<p>She breathed in the scent, and he felt her body relax.</p>
<p>"Dinner?"</p>
<p>"Family dinner," he corrected. "The crew, Kallus, Rex, all of us. We've been planning this for ages." Kanan's tone softened. "We've just been waiting for you."</p>
<p>Her breath caught and her body relaxed, but he sensed her doubt sooner than he heard it.</p>
<p>"I really shouldn't," she said even though the longing in her voice was thick. "Another time, when things calm down, absolutely, but there are missions—"</p>
<p>"Captain Andor is literally at your desk keeping an eye on things. <em>Everyone </em>agreed to keep an eye on things for you. Why do you think Mon Mothma let you off so early?" Gently he turned her so they were standing face-to-face, and like this he took her hands. "Just for tonight," he said with a soft smile as he brushed his hands up and down her arms to soothe her. "The fight? The rebellion? It can all wait. Our family is <em>here</em>. Right now." Gently he squeezed her arms. "Let's enjoy that."</p>
<p>Even though she didn't say anything, he could hear her resistance as her breath went unsteady and her heart pounded. Feel it in the tightness of her muscles. With so many responsibilities on her plate, so much for her to think about and do and care for, he wasn't surprised by the resistance. He understood, he really did.</p>
<p>But this was war, and she knew it as much as he did, and any beautiful, glowing memories they could steal for themselves to keep themselves going during the hardest times were worth it.</p>
<p>When he felt her muscles relax, he knew she remembered.</p>
<p>"You're right," she finally said, pulling out of his grasp so she could catch his hands in hers to squeeze them as gently as he'd held her. "The work can wait. But family?" Hera shook her head. "These are the moments that matter."</p>
<p>"We even got your favorites," he said with a grin, triumph thrumming through his blood. "Or, at least, as close to them as we can get here in the middle of nowhere—"</p>
<p>And while he wanted to tell her about some of the more interesting lengths he and the rest of the crew had gone to to make tonight happen, he couldn't. Not when Hera had used his personally favorite way to shut him up when she'd crossed the distance to kiss him. With little else to do but be kissed so sweetly, Kanan let himself enjoy this moment. Let Hera <em>finally </em>wind down and let her take something for herself.</p>
<p>When she finally pulled away, he couldn't help but follow after her tempting lips before smiling and pressing their brows together. Her arms wound around his neck and this close the Force told him things he knew Hera wasn't ready to admit. It let him glimpse the deep warmth and affection she held for him, the love and compassion she had for their little family.</p>
<p>"I don't know what I'd do without you, Kanan," she said softly, voice rich with tenderness and emotion. "You know that, right?"</p>
<p>Kanan sighed and closed his eyes before holding her tight. This was war and he knew from experience what war demanded. There was no guarantee that any of them would survive.</p>
<p>But no matter what, he was going to do his damnedest to make sure she did. No matter what. No matter the cost.</p>
<p>"I'm sure you'd figure it out," he said half-jokingly, half not. Then he squeezed her tighter. "But I hope you won't have to."</p>
<p>Noises that sounded distinctly like Chopper, Ezra, and Kallus getting into it broke the tender moment that had settled around them, and Kanan winced when he heard something smash to the ground before Sabine said something snarky in that tone that always came before she started instigating and painting the others vivid colors.</p>
<p>"I think maybe it's time we start dinner?" he suggested, and she chuckled softly before pressing another kiss to his lips.</p>
<p>"Come on,” she said when she pulled away. “Before they break anything." She caught his hand in hers and pulled him after her, and he could hear the smile in her voice. "It's been a long time since we've had dinner with the family. I want to enjoy it with all of you."</p>
<p>He smiled and felt the proverbial disturbance in the Force fade away. He squeezed her hand with his as they entered the lounge where their family, the warmth, and all the fantastic smelling food was waiting for them, and said, "I thought you might."</p>
<p>But she wasn't listening because her attention was dominated by everyone cheering excitedly that their fearless leaders were finally there and they could all eat. Music started playing and the others pulled Hera into conversations they hadn't had with her in maybe weeks as drinks were poured and smiles were given, and for a moment Kanan stood outside of it all and admired it from afar. Like an outsider looking in.</p>
<p>Life. Family. Love. Happiness. It was right here in front of him. This was everything he'd never thought he'd have growing up. This was everything he'd ever wanted. It had taken him thirty-three long years.</p>
<p>But it was here. This was family. This was <em>home</em>.</p>
<p>He couldn't cry anymore, Maul had made sure of that, but if he could have, he was certain he'd have wept.</p>
<p>"Kanan, what are you doing just standing there?" Sabine said before she dragged him to the table and settled him between her and Ezra. His Padawan was already shoving a plate <em>heaped </em>with food into his hands while reaching over the table for the basket of bread Zeb was attempting to hoard for himself. Chopper was ferrying the final drink over, Hera's favorite, while Rex began doling out heaping servings of something Kanan couldn't name as he told them about one of the better stories from his Clone Wars days.</p>
<p>Hera smiled and laughed, and it was as beautiful a sound as the first time he'd heard it all those years ago, and Kanan knew, no matter what the future might bring, they would always have this memory. They would always have <em>all </em>the memories they'd made together. Their memories.</p>
<p>And maybe that was okay.</p>
<p>Maybe, in a strange way ... it was perfect. And Kanan really wouldn't have it any other way.</p>
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